“”It is those cowardly bastards””
“the long Awaited comeback of Noel Fillet-Hammarström”
“the Comeback was long-awaited and joyous.”
“Noel Fillet-Hammarström is happy to play basketball again – an act that means a lot to all transsexuals in sport.”
“But the 19-year-old tells us that he’s on the road have been receiving a lot of punishment both mentally and physically.”
“– Behind closed doors, I have been the victim of abuse or gruppmisshandel. It is those cowardly bastards, ” says Noel Fillet-Hammarström to Sportbladet.”
“On 22 February 2018 entered the basketball player Moa Fillet-Hammarström forward as transsexual. After that, she chose to end her basketkarriär. On 16 april, played Moa his last match.”
“She had always known that she was born in the wrong body, so after the career was completed began hormone replacement therapy.”
” I didn’t want to dwell on a basketball court. I didn’t want to be there, it hurt. I broke down every time I thought about it, ” says Noel Fillet-Hammarström.”
“Södertälje Basketbollklubbs head coach Joakim Brunnström got Noel to return, and to be assisted coach for the team. At the side of the pitch has the craving for the comeback of plant in 19-see her bold fashion body.”
”Damn nice to be back””
“After having been given the green light by the Swedish Basketbollförbundet Noel Fillet-Hammarström back on the basketball court. He played the match in Fornbackaskolan against Huddinge Basketball Sunday.”
“– It is damn nice to be back. Good luck…the last time I had it was probably the matches before I stopped april 16, 2018. It is very important for me and then I take that it is very important for many others as well, ” says Noel Fillet-Hammarström.”
“He stresses the importance of being a voice for transgender people in society.”
” I came out when I was 18. I have lived behind the closed doors from the public in 18 years. It is a sorgeprocess for I have missed you so much, I have not been living life as myself. I’m doing this for so many reasons, not just for myself. It is not only that I get to experience it for yourself, but because it is so important to so many people.”
“To come forward was nice for Noel. But it has found dark days where he received he received a beating mentally and physically.”
“– They who dare to say something to me are the ones that give me positive feedback publicly. Looking at my social media or would be with me when it’s bright out, in the middle of the day, so you will notice the positive feedback. But behind closed doors I have been the victim of abuse or gruppmisshandel, there has been much taunts and such. It is those cowardly bastards. If they would make it transparent, I would send the whole Täljehallen on them…not really, but a bit so.”
“” I have such an incredible support and the people are terrified of change. The only emanates from himself and his own needs. They see a person in a dammatch who has a beard and wonder about “what’s happening?”, ”this is me uncomfortable”. Many are payable only from themselves, and many were probably hesitant and biased from the beginning, but if you put their feelings aside and wonder how Noel looks at it? What is he doing for the next generation? What does the person if it receives a daughter who really is born in a son’s body? What do they do then? Then maybe it was pretty important that I took this step and may take a lot of knocks behind closed doors. It is so tough when you’re 19 years old and hear things that no one should have to make. My mother use to say jokingly that I have gone through more things in 19 years than in the whole of her life.”
“How has it affected your relationships in life?”
“– Family and friends are there. Relationships change and relationships have been completed. It has affected me a lot and it has become a proper axle for me. At the same time, I feel that if it happens, it was the sentence. Everything is affected very much, it is very much different feelings.”
“the Game against Huddinge Basketball was awaited. It was the first match on 16th april 2018. If Noel does not receive a waiver of its testosteronhalt, this may have been the last match for a while.”
“– My testosteronhalt in the body increases gradually all the time because I add hormones life. I’m not really in balance yet, I am in the middle of puberty, the number two. So they might pull a limit to how high testosteronhalt I may have in the body. Maybe I have too much testosterone in the body in order to play at this level. But we have not received a response yet.”
“– I noticed today that I am not superior when it comes to physics, I think this is clear. I play against Nina Baresso, which is 40 plus and we are holding pretty steady level. You have to try it and see, it was as I guessed – I do not feel superior. I felt about as I did a year ago. I don’t dominate the shows that I can’t go in and play for the guys for the moment. It is too great a risk of injury and I am inferior.”
“you Know yourself when you pass a testosteronhalt that you do not get to play against women?”
“– honestly so, I actually think not they have any guidelines or specific rules. Basketbollförbundet and the Swedish anti-doping have not met a transatlet in Sweden, ever that has put the pressure on them. I have not heard about it on the event level. I go in and play against the women in the day is a little bit of history.”
“do you Want to play with the men later?”
” I like it when I am legally a man, I think. When I feel that my body pallets of it here. I identify myself as a man and I’m a man. I go to the dressing room for the men and I go on herrtoaletten.”
“– It was so reassuring to go in and play the game. It feels like home. I think that when my physique is starting to fall into place, and the personal pieces so I think I want to take the plunge and play with the guys.”
“You are undergoing hormone replacement therapy – how has it affected you?”
“– It has affected me a lot, I have a completely different just as in the day than what I had before. Then I notice that it is on the basketball court I belong. I am just as I was a year ago, when I am on the basketball court. But when I’m off the pitch I am a person many ways. I have had many relationships that have changed because of this. There have been both positive and negative for me. I’m not as sad anymore, I get more and more angry. It is that I have found home in myself, I have a completely different quiet. Now I can have a bad day, but know that it will be good the next day. I can have a fucking great day, but keep both feet on the ground. There is much that happens now, puberty is number two.”
“today I am a happy person with the bad days. Previously I was a miserable person with good days.”
“How do you see the future?”
” I’m terrified, in many ways. I have things in the luggage that has happened since I came out as trans, which has scared the life out of me. In many cases it has been life-threatening. To take all of it, as a 19-year-old is very hard. It’s unkind to myself and to joke it off that everything will be good just because I go out on the basketball court. But then it was a bit like all I have been exposed to and been told, the battles I have been receiving disappeared after I had to put my first shots. Here, I feel like I said at home, I know what security there is here. I have ”Jocko” at my side, he backs me up good and I have nice friends, nice mother and nice sisters. I get a probable backing from the club.”
“How do you feel when you see yourself in the mirror today?”
” I think I have drawn it in the two interviews in the past. Secondly, I don’t break any mirrors anymore, which is nice. I did, unfortunately before, so bad was it. Today I am a happy person with the bad days. Previously I was a miserable person with good days.”
