It is not about some troubled thoughts about who she chats with, or whose flow she is so imprisoned by.
It is the whole thing. It is the phone itself, and all that is in it.
Any love accommodates a sinnesfrånvänd desire to be everything to someone. Okay, you may not be able to replace her need for food, drink, and sleep. But everything else?
almost immediately. For where you are sitting. With all what it means. And not means. And there she sits with her phone. And in it there is everything else. All of her friends and their doings and deeds, everything that happened in the world, all the discussions that are taking place in the so-called public sphere, all the songs and movies that are important to her, all of her work and her leisure, all the information about the step she had taken, and stairs she had gone up and down during the day, all updates on her financial assets.
in Short, in the balance: you. In the other pan: everything else.
You hate yourself for that you so often cast a glance at the scales and becomes filled with either the joy of to weigh heavier than everything else, or missmodet when everything else weighs heavier than you.
I imagine that it was easier before, before everything else was gathered in the phone.
the Scales is not possible to hide either. Either she is holding in the phone, or she does not. She keeps the phone weighs everything else heavier. She does there is a chance that your sinnesfrånvända desire come true. Until the phone hums, and you know that she needs to pick it up, because it can be something important. Or at least something that is more important than you. At least right now. Vips, and you are bussed up against the hills, against the lightweight, against the gases in the atmosphere, and the thud, everything else can park itself tunggumpat in the solid reality.
it was easier before, before everything else was gathered in the phone. When you sometimes got a phone call from a friend, a call linked to a specific location in the home, by means of snurrskivor and coiling cords, fågelbesuttna threads between the tarred poles. Then put it on and went to work. Talked for a while with a friendly neighbor while they were waiting for the bus. Gossiped with colleagues, while the vending machine joxade with the day’s first cup. Then, the company worked on. When you came home, perhaps, there was a letter on the hallmattan that sprättade up. The letter, not hallmattan. Then listened to music on his stereo. Watched a movie on the tv screen. Everything was spread out and finely minced.
Photo: Fredrik Sandberg/TT
In the day are all gathered in a flat rectangle that can be carry everywhere, and which often also is made precisely there. To a certain extent, for it costs a lot of money, but above all because it contains everything else.
Read some of the previous chronicles of Bengt Ohlsson ”
In all honesty contains her phone not only everything else, but also a significant part of you. The pictures of you. Messages from you. But right now, send no messages, and does not let you pixlas to a comfortable jerky image to be laid out in a flow. Right now, you are sitting here, and she is so busy with everything else. Everything else that is not you.
do something about it. Any and all grievances would sound unpleasant and controlling. ”Who messar you with? What are you looking at?” It would also be pointless, a running of the bulls at windmills. For deep down inside you know that it is something innocent. An article in any topic. Something work-related that needs to be checked up. A meeting needs to be booked, rebooked or cancelled. A reminder that needs to be silenced before it goes to collection. Or a friend who has come home from a trip and just want to say hi.
in other words, the same things that you do when you pick up your phone.
But it is an entirely different thing. To begin with, you do it well-not as often as she? Strangely enough, she is not. But where she is wrong. There, she must have. It is a manifestation of the denial she lives in. And it would be difficult provocative. Your entire worldview is based on that you lose weight easier than anything else.
There must be a word for it. Must googling. A little fast, while she is out in the kitchen.