Realitystjernen Philip May took a brave decision, since in October, he stood in front of Denmark in the television program, ‘To dinner with’ and told about the trauma plaguing him after his time as a deployed soldier.
Five comrades he has lost. Two in a mortérulykke before departure and three in Afghanistan.
today it is exactly 10 years ago, he lost his two soldatervenner in mortérulykken in Oksbøl, and he uses his social media to pay tribute to them.
‘It is 10 years since the terrible accident in Oksbøl, where Simon and Jonas went away, I think of you every single day, however extra much in the day where I will do anything to honor your memory’, writes Philip May on Instagram, where he calls the design for ‘a long struggle is still ongoing’.
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Philip May, who has four gravestones tattooed on the body to remind you of the friends, says to Ekstra Bladet that it is a particularly tough day to get through. The last tombstone comes when he is mentally ready.
– today is a hard day, it is a day that mentally to get over with, but still used to remember, commemorate and honor the boys. It is a day, I mentally use the time to put me up to, says Philip May.
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He told in the tv program, that he suffered from frequent nightmares and krigstraumer, because he only recently began to process the events. Now he was begun to the psychologist, and today he says to Ekstra Bladet that it is a process that is still in progress.
– It is moving forward, but I still go to a psychologist and runs a lot søvnterapi. Traumeterapi I have been through a lot, so we are over. Now it’s my nightmare, which, however, goes much better. It is, after all, that I have kept it here inside a long time, and it creates some problems later on. Them I’m fighting with now, it is very with the regulation of emotions, he explains.
Philip May materialise in the ‘Paradise Hotel’, where he was the program’s carefree party animal. Later he opened up and told about krigstraumer, which daily gave him nightmares. Photo: Anthon Unger
Mortérulykken happened 10 years ago, and it can get fans and others to marvel that the accident still affecting him so severely. There is a simple explanation of.
– It is the it with that you do not process the grief, but pushes it away and live in a fantasy world. It is like filling a balloon up and eventually burst the just. Of course I have been better to process the grief, but I also think there should be room for it. There must be space to be sad and it can I use day in day on, says Philip May, and continues.
– I might have spent a little longer time to give grief space, but that is because I have lost really much in really a short time, and it has been hard to deal with. I must admit that it has been difficult to see the demons in the eyes, as I do now.
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– Has it helped you to stand ahead in the ‘To dinner with’ and tell your story?
– I think it has helped me in the way that it has given a better understanding of my person. It has done that I am more open and can talk about it, for it is still a topic that is very sensitive for me. I also feel that maybe I can inspire someone. So I hope, says Philip May.
It was in the ‘dinner with’ that Philip May opened up and told how hard he actually is influenced by krigstraumerne. Photo: Bjorn Jakobsen/TV3
He doubts that he will ever come completely over the tragic experiences, he has had to testify, but he hopes to be able to find a better balance.
– There are many sequels, I’m never going to get over. I have come to realize. For me, it is about to process the grief and find the balance, so it does not become either completely down in the kulkælderen or completely up in the sky. It has been really hard for me to find a balance. It’s not about to forget them or what happened. It’s all about getting them placed in a proper place, he finishes of.
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Philip May is one of the biggest profiles in the ‘Paradise Hotel’s long-standing history.
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