Last summer, marveled at the Berlin-based science journalist Ulrike Bartholomäus: your 18-year-old daughter had completed the school, the full life was waiting, but rather than grabbing with both hands then, shut yourself in your room. Like your daughter, many of the young people: they are well trained, have Followers and knowledge of the language – but have no idea what you want to do with your life. This great lack of orientation to the school, Bartholomew has written a book. And gives the parents a tip: relax.
high school – and zero Plan for the future. What’s going on?
Many young people are killed in this Situation, as blocked by the huge range of options. Afraid to choose wrong, you will spend your days with Netflix. Scientists in the selection of a paradox to call it. The more options, the less satisfied we are. In Germany, there is 19’000 programmes – nobody needs it.
A luxury problem? Who is doing an apprenticeship, you need to select 16 for a profession.
The vast majority of high school students are accustomed, that there is always Input from outside. You have a little Routine to structure your day rhythm. In the school for many years, thanks to social media friends are available anytime and anywhere. When this is over, and the young are on their own, they fall into a hole. My daughter had last summer a very unfortunate time.
Boy could travel after school, but the world!
Many do not want to travel. You don’t want to be away from home for each home more comfortable.
soft youth ?
I find the term effeminate is something tough. I agree that it is lacking in many young people. It is difficult for them from time to time and boredom to endure, by biting, or how to deal with criticism. But you can part and nothing more. The cause of the helicopter parents who give their children all the problems out of the way. This immature young people who have no self-confidence.
Ulrike Bartholomew, 53: “a Lot of parents can’t let go”. Photo: PD
write, 18-Year-old neuro-biologically immature seen as 20 years ago.
on the one Hand, puberty begins earlier and earlier. On the other hand, it takes longer and longer, until young people have gained the spiritual maturity, the demands our society of them. Meanwhile, it can be from 25 up to. Year take, to the development of the rationality center in the brain is completed, for control and planning. This means that The Phase of self-discovery has expanded.
The parents are so impatient, the child should decide. And if it then begins an apprenticeship instead of a degree?
that is Exactly the Problem. Most middle-class parents have high expectations of the child. They are fear-driven Descent. The child is to the project, its education is also a status symbol. Even more extreme it is, if you have only one child instead of three. As it would be life-changing, if the son makes! The conceit of academics. These expectations paralyze many Young.
What is actually so bad about it after school for the first time relaxed?
Three months of chilling out after all the tests no Problem. But then what is to come. Everything is possible, as long as it gets the boys out of the comfort zone: Jobs, volunteer work, grandpa care, travel. Bad is just to do nothing, as all psychologists agree. In this age, the areas of the brain flash to network quickly – if Input comes.
Many parents want to help, leave your contacts and arrange an internship or organize a study space. Good Strategy?
no! This activism, I think, is completely out of place. Parents need to press this execution reflex. It is to be expected of a youth that he himself is calling for the internship or study logs in. However, many parents can’t let go. A Professor told me that some parents request in your kind office, because they still feel responsible for your child. I say: get Off the Radar!
What should parents do because otherwise, if you see that your child comes to you in the course?
A Deadline fix. “Up in the autumn hang out is okay, then what do you want.” The child says: “I don’t do anything”, I would not accept that. The Problem is that in most families, will not be negotiated. The parents keep silent and hope that what happens. But it does not often.
And the parents are nervous.
Sometimes you are willing to bear incredible loads, will Finance retroactively an expensive training, bring the child to the internship to Singapore. Please don’t! Parents should just relax. And ask yourself: Is it here to my expectations or to my child?
describe boomerang kids: studies of the game and training is cancelled, back to mom and dad.
The are numerous. Studies and teaching crashes include much more self-evident for the CV. I think it’s not bad: Dear at a young age is a wrong decision, as a mid 40 in the crisis of overthrow.
you have spoken for your book, with many school leavers. How do you perceive the youth of today?
Some of them are lacking in motivation, many of the non-binding, as a Whatsapp comes only: “not today.” Impressively, however, is: Once you have found something Suitable to set the switch as quick as a flash and start. I feel you as a free Generation that is missing perhaps is a kind of inner authority. A Person familiar with a big impact – for me, it was my uncle, one can think in terms of “What would do in my place now?” Like an inner GPS, directs the.
“Why reach for the stars when you can chill?” Ulrike Bartholomäus, Berlin-Verlag, Munich, 2019. 304 pages. About 19 Swiss Francs.
(Sunday newspaper)
Created: 06.04.2019, 18:52 PM
