I am 57 and have a friend (52). I have a degree and a demanding job. She was a housewife and is now a saleswoman. She was the life-long, intellectually undemanding and lazy and now she has me. I often feel a deep contempt for you. But I still like them. You advise me, the friendship dissolve? (Then I would be very alone.)
D. B.
Mr B.
contempt is a feeling that most poisoned a friendship on a profound and destroyed. You can’t ask for contempt, even to excuse, to confirm, without the disdain this again. But it seems to me, you despised yourself for your dependency, to ensure that they do not give so much just to be alone. And feel it as a tremendous injustice that you have done so much and at the end on the benefit from someone depend, has not done anything like this. The – überpointiert formulated – not only of their Strengths but also their weakness (the threat of loneliness) benefits.
If you want more friends and not be alone, you can try the thought experiment of a change in Perspective. Imagine your friend goes past all the culture stuff, perhaps even on the ass. She regrets it, to be in the material storage sub-calls, but not calls that you would like to be instead regular guest of the people’s University, now yet again. You just enjoy your ideas, your Knowledge, because it is your.
in Short: she enjoys her activity on the one hand, and their own passivity on the other. Maybe you even makes your attachment trouble as you with your addiction. Imagine both of you would accept the fact that you are the intellectual Sugar Daddy and to be able to your girlfriend – your girlfriend likes it, you walk. Why they don’t like Themselves for doing it?
The psychoanalyst Peter Schneider answered questions about the philosophy of everyday life. Send us your questions to gesellschaft@tagesanzeiger.ch
Created: 29.10.2019, 13:54 PM