One evening in January 2019, it’s 22.15 PM. In a good mood, Stéphane Richer from the kitchen dances coming in the direction of the living room. With the left Hand he balanced a small tray. He carries a glass of red wine and a bowl of his favorite potato chips brand “Croky”. The the sports Director of the Eisbären Berlin from Belgium. Well, the know, what tastes good, thinks himself Richer. He controls the living room Couch, the tablet lands on a lovingly draped doilies. Zapp. RTL. 22.15 PM. On the screen, Sonja Zietlow appears. Moderation. Now the opening credits! The jungle camp!! Phone. “Merde!” source Stéphane Richer ignored the words. Again and again. In the first commercial break, he looks at his smartphone screen. “Luc” is there. “Oh non”. Call attempt number eleven, the Chairman of the Supervisory Board of the polar bears from the Anschutz-Central Los Angeles. Richer answer.
Richer : “Oh, Luc, quelle surprise! Ca va?“
author: “Bonjour Stéphane. Ca va.“
Richer : “Well, that’s a thing. You won’t believe what’s going on on television right now. Little tip: Doctor Bob.“
author: “Quel….?”
Richer : “Well, the jungle camp. I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here. Or: Je suis une célébrité me sortir d’ici ! Man, Luc, don’t You know?“
author: “no.”
judge: “Now, the current season falters a little. Stupid characters, but also a couple of interesting types. Season 13. So, if You ask me then to be one of my favorites for the crown, then I would say.“
author: “Stéphane!”
Richer : “no, Evelyn Burdecki is the jungle Queen. Very clear!“
author: “Stéphane!!!”
judge: “You disagree?”
author: “Stéphane, my ass is scared shitless!”
judge: “Not good.”
author: “no, not good. 0:7, 2:5, and so on. Bears to lose a game after the other. You are so bad…. you rise me up to the roof. Even the Anschutz has been called. What can I say. You know, what happened in Hamburg. The way to rip us, the thing under the Behind. Wrap the polar bears, the…”
judge: “Now You’re exaggerating.”
author: “What?”
judge: “It’s not about life and death. We have a few injured. But improvement is in sight. The Colin Smith I’ve sent now to the Bürgeramt to Bremerhaven, to play as a German. Then we have a foreigner license, in Sweden, there should be a small runabout. Ortgea or so, the…”
author: “will help you also, coming out of L. A. The Austin Ortega, I have not seen earlier in the Toyota Sports Center in us, that’s enough. You are playing miserable hockey. This is so bad. Come on, I have now seen the 0:7 against Mannheim. You know us, the O2 place!“
judge: “It’s called the Mercedes-Benz Arena. And this is after all, only the main round. Important the Play-offs. Additionally, Fans will come, no matter how we play. The cabin is almost always full. Do You know Johanna von Koczian?“
author: “Where?”
judge: “My favourite song of her is “The little bit of budget … says my husband.” (sings: the little bit of Hockey. But nothing says enough my boss” to Koczian-tune)
author: “It! Either you come now or in the Play-offs and then drops out in the quarter-finals with honour, or, the ass is.“
Richer humming to Johanna von Koczian…
author: “Stéphane???!!!”
Richer : “Okay, when the injured are back, then the should go. Five games in the quarter-finals? Against Champions Munich for example? That would be worthy of all honor.“
Robitalle: “you win two, the best one of them home and leaves then nearly from home in the last game. Then all are pleased!“
Richer : “Okay, so six games, the quarter-finals. Pas de Problem. But now I have to look more jungle camp, the Zietlow has just … Luc?“
Luc Robitaille has launched. Stephane Richer takes two of his favourite Belgian potato chips from the bowl, sipping on red wine and ask yourself: who now has to leave next to the Camp?
Two weeks later, is named Evelyn Burdecki in fact, the jungle Queen, the polar bears reached in March 2019, the Play-off quarter-finals in the DEL and leave it there, glorious in six Games against Munich.
Anchored More parts of our satire series: part 1: The truth about Torsten and the exchange to Wolfsburg; part 2: way of the home disadvantage. Polar bears play away!; Part 3: NHL Scout searches for German players in Bremerhaven.
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satire series: The world is a very beautiful disc, part 3, NHL Scout searches for German players in Bremerhaven
Claus Vetter
