If you want to boost your relationship, you can put the expectations down, turn up the curiosity and the deep conversations, turn off your mobile, do something exciting together or go in couples ‘ counselling – you can also just download the app Love the Nudge and follow the instructions there.
Love the Nudge is developed by the famous author behind the bestselling ‘Love 5 languages’, Gary Chapman. The book describes the five ways people prefer to give and receive love.
the Idea is so that one must learn his own and my bf’s primary and secondary (and tertiary) kærlighedssprog to know. As you become better at expressing his needs, as well as meet the partner’s.
And it is also the whole purpose of the Laws of the Nudge. Which works a little like a fitness tracker for you and your relationship.
The five kærlighedssprog are: Appreciative words, time for each other, physical touch, receiving gifts and services.
the First reply to a series of questions that help the app identify your kærlighedssprog. So you invite your gf to do the same. This you can plot a lot of possible kærlighedshandlinger into the app, there are also daily will nudge you/give you tips on what you can do to pleasure your girlfriend in relation to her/his kærlighedssprog.
Some of the issues that exist in the app, are those where you are faced with a number of statements where you need to specify which one you most agree with:
So instead of fitnessmål you have kærlighedsmål. For example, remember you the to make a frokostaftale with the bf, turn off the cell phone, have eye contact, carry out the domestic duty that your girlfriend really hates, all kinds of small and big expression of love.
the Assumption is that most people are quite unconscious of their own kærlighedssprog and even more on my bf, and it is rare that both speak the same language. Therefore, it is appropriate to find out what each needs and give expression to.
F. eks. is it possible that you feel that a massage is a legacy of love to get, and therefore you will also would like to give it as a sign of love, but maybe see your girlfriend not massage as love. She may feel more loved when you paint her basement.
So learn to speak your husband’s language. It is the way to a long and happy relationship.
Once you have taken the entire test, you will get the finished result can look like this:
the App does not guarantee that it makes your relationship better or saves it from destruction. But it is free.
Mindfulrich.com these explanations of what the five kærlighedssprog:
If you and/or your partner scores the highest on the appreciative/appreciative words, so you can turn up the praise, encouraging, kind and humble words.
Equally important is it to turn down the reproaches, criticism and bickering, because on the emotional level can be translated to ‘I love you’.
If you and/or your partner scores the highest at the time for each other, so it makes sense to put time in the calendar continuously. Sometimes for some hours and sometimes a whole weekend.
In everyday life it can also just be 15-30 minutes, where In trying to be present together. It is also important to have a dialogue about what quality time is for each of you.
In today’s society spoken so much about the sex, and there is almost a pressure on, that one must always have the desire for sex.
at the same time, have a busy schedule, stress and lack of presence is an unfavorable influence on the sexual desire. But the physical contact need not only be sex. Become creative with regard to the types of physical contact, and communicate what you like and dream about. Ask your partner what he/she is dreaming about.
the Challenge of gifts is that it is often the thought behind the gift that means something. This makes it particularly difficult since seldom is the mind reader. It is therefore important to make efforts to find out what your loved one appreciate and find out of the want to continuously.
Services require thought, planning, time, effort, and energy. If you do it in a loving and positive way, they can be an expression of love, unless it just becomes habits. It is really important to know about the services, are the following.
If you use the services as an expression of love, so it must be a service the other party wants, and done in the way the recipient wants it. Otherwise it will not be an expression of love.
There is a multitude of tests on the net, where you can find your language. Quite basic, you can ask yourself these three questions:
What hurts you basically of what your spouse does or fails to do?
The opposite of what hurts you most is probably your kærlighedssprog.
What do you have usually asked your spouse about?
It, you most frequently asked is probably it, that will make you feel most loved.
How do you give in general, the expression of your love for your spouse?
The way you do it shows, perhaps, how you feel most loved.
Less divorce, more fights
Figures from Statistics Denmark show that fewer get divorced than the past five years: 19.387 in 2014 and 14926 in 2018.
To dr.dk tells paterapeuter that the decline may be due to more fighting for the relationship than in the past:
Mattias Stølen Due from the Centre for Familieudvikling says:
– Several realize that relationship problems are something you actively take care of, and we just cannot leave us to the good feelings last.
Dove also points out, more trying to do something before it all burns.
– Therefore we can also conclude that there is more that takes the preventive thought to himself and who realizes that the close relationship is not just essential for our well-being, but it is also crucial that we put some energy in them, he says.
