As children became Alán Ali beaten when he sold the cigarettes in the iranian capital Tehran to support her family. Other young teenagers thought that he was encroaching on their “territory” and did that they lost money.
And as a refugee in Sweden teasing Alán with the nazis in the scanian Rock that wanted all the ”svartskallar” would be thrown out of Sweden.
But slowly grew to the realization that violence is not the best way to solve conflicts – and that the men have a large responsibility to stop fighting.
– whether it is physical bullying, fights between different gangs or violence against your children or their partner it is we men who need to examine our behaviors. It is we who are fighting and making war, ” says Alán Ali.
for Men, a non-profit, feminist organization that started in 1993 in order to engage men against men’s violence against women. The goal is to change destructive norms around masculinity and create an equal world without violence.
” We men are the problem, but we also have the solution. It is up to us to change our behaviour. All men don’t fight and all the men beat not – but we have a collective responsibility to protest and speak out, says Alán.
He is born in kurdish Iraq. The family was forced to flee first to Iran, then to Syria, and from there on. In all of the countries have Alán experienced violence and oppression.
At the end of the 1980s, Alán, his parents and siblings to Sweden. They lived a time that hidden refugees, but after the dictator Sadamm Hussein bombed a kurdish city with chemical weapons, they got to stay here in the country.
” When I came here I thought that a rich country without war and where everyone has clothes and food must be peaceful and free from violence … but, in Östersund, where we then lived for a time, I experienced at close hand how bullying can harm.
, a municipality in Skåne, which has become known for it lived and live many neo-nazis there. In the school where Alán went, he was often harassed and mocked for his background. There were many going and the neo-nazis who wanted him badly.
” They blocked my locker so that I came late to the lessons and got the crap out of the teachers who said, ”You, the immigrants may never learn to be on time.” These comments fanned the flames of racism.
Alán Ali. Photo: Fredrik Funck
So it came to Alán was a militant antirasist. He and another buddy with the flyktingbakgrund started the fight with the nazis, along with ten ”middle class-Svensson-young people”, the latter is his expression. They went to Gothenburg and Lund, sweden on 30 november, when the nazis and skinnskallarna publicized ”hjältekonungen” Karl XII:s death.
” I was never any värsting during these years, but I fought back. Later I thought that it was just boys and men who used violence. There were girls on both sides and hanging on – but were never.
com Alán home to the family villa, with a torn shirt. An acquaintance of his parents wondered what he was doing. He looked at Alán, and said:
”If you strike Donald for that he is a nazi, go Donald home to his dad and tells what you’ve done. Then Joe’s dad pissed off and say that someone invandrarjävel shall not come and give himself in his son. What have you achieved? Think about it.”
Alán took these words and they matured within him. He stopped fighting and chose a different way to protest against the racism he experienced; he was involved in various anti-racist associations and organizations.
His great interest in the engines had led to that he studied automotive technology in high school and then started work as a car mechanic. But, they changed Alán workshop towards the university.
migration and ethnic relations, gender studies and human rights at the University of Malmö. It was supposed to be a semester, but the meeting with the “fullblodsfeministerna” at the school prompted him to reflect on his own life and about how the patriarchal society we live in affect both men and women.
” I got the knowledge about what shapes the male role and about the impact of a machomaskulinitet can get. Then I also got knowledge about what tools we can use to change society in a more egalitarian direction, and a society free from violence.
It is up to us to change our behaviour. All men don’t fight and all the men beat not – but we have a collective responsibility to protest and speak out
Alán came in contact with RFSU and began after a time working as one of the organization’s communicators. He was on a poster where he was naked with several other men and women (most were gay).
– As a heterosexual man from the Middle east and as a born muslim, it was a violation of many standards to be on such a poster, laughing Alán.
he to lecture about racism, violence and the male role in Sweden, but also in a number of other countries. Iraq, Israel, Palestine, Germany, Estonia, Norway, Denmark … During their visit noticed Alán that the structures are the same all over the world: men have power and women are subordinate.
Alán grew up in a home free of violence, where the parents never raised the voice against each other but instead demonstrated a great deal of respect.
” When I came into puberty told the father that it is not good to walk in shoes without socks. It was his way of saying that it is important to use a condom during sex. He also felt that if I had any thoughts of lifting my hand against a woman, it would be extremely unmanly and, ultimately, wrong.
older sister indignantly asked him to come to watch a feature on tv news. It was about a young woman who has been raped and where the issues in the right was all about her dress about her sexual habits, she had been drunk and so on.
When I understood what my sister showed made I have a comment about the mickey ride, it was so all the guys in the school looked at the whole thing. Then threw my sister a flower pot against me. Afterwards, said the father to the one who expresses himself as an idiot with the right will be treated as such.
– There are many answers to that question. One is that violence is seen as the easiest way. Violence is an instrument of power and is easy to get to, the one who does not feel that there are a few other options will be happy to take to violence.
– My experience is that men are not always so easy to put words on their feelings, and then can violence become a way to express these.
Researchers have shown that some people have more difficult to feel empathy and has cognitive difficulties which can lead to more violent behavior. But much is about to learn that violence is an option. And what we’ve learned we can also learn about.
– Alcohol also has great significance, as well as the use of other drugs such as anabolic steroids. The latches release.
According to Alán Ali, is the fear and feelings of guilt and shame are important causes of violence. He says it comes to get the men fighting to become aware of their thoughts, the actions they lead to and the consequences.
– Men strikes must be aware of their behavior and that there are other ways to give vent to their anger and their frustration. They must recognise that their behaviour is objectionable and that it is their responsibility to change their behavior.
it is good for men to get angry de-focus themselves by, for example, go down to the gym and punch a sandbag. But it is an approach Alán turns against.
– Step from turning on a boxboll to turn on a living person may be short. Therefore it is important to find other strategies.
” Take all the men who are in prison for having committed violent crimes. They do not change their behavior by sitting in prison for years and where the only treatment is that they may devote hours on end to strength training.
Alán Ali, who today is 42 years, is continuing its work against all forms of violence and racism. In the summer he visited Visby during the Almedalen political week. During a meeting, he was beaten in the face Mobilbahis and in the neck of a nazi, who is now reported to the police.
– As the chairman of an organisation which Men I want to pay attention to all forms of male violence. Violence occurs against women, violence has racist overtones, can take place in criminal gangs or behind the family’s closed doors, and so on. Men fight and men have a responsibility to change their behavior.
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