Many couples say they shared everything: work, household, and family organization. Because of, especially, both working together to cover-up the truth. It’s high time to change that.

comment by Violetta Simon Violetta Simon

Violetta Simon, Born in 1967, lives with her husband and son in Munich. Studied German and Italian literature as well as psychology of advertising. Received as a first media-volunteer of the SZ in addition to print journalism training in the areas of television and the Internet. So she came in 2000 in the Online editorial team – and stayed. Feel as a society editor, especially in the life and style at home, writes as a columnist and author of the loved one about women and men. Examines the life and its forms of expression, brings to the point, what moves people.

What moves you: a lonely rock climbing and people wise things to say. Or shut the fuck up. It is still working. To compensate, she writes texts in mirror writing.

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attention, now it might hurt for a second: The equality on the labour market is an Illusion, in spite of parents ‘ money, childcare, and women’s quota – if the work involves, obtained in the own four walls. At the in-house work, many modern couples seem to be in the seventies. Regardless of their professional activity, the bulk of the domestic duties still hangs in the women. Even couples who refuse a conventional role distribution and equal a lot of income to contribute, often fall into patterns of behavior of the classical breadwinner marriage, once it comes to the division of tasks.

This applies not only to household and child-rearing. It is the big picture, the organization of the family’s everyday life, whose threads run almost together, always with the women. They must all have in mind: the nursery is closed, Shoe size of the children, doctor’s appointments. In business there are women with such skills job title: project Manager.


The false feminism-Reflex

again and again, criticises women for their supposedly non-feminist behavior. Unfortunately, this does not bring us closer to the goal that women can decide freely.

In the debate about reconciliation is overlooked, this duration power of thought, as a “Mental Load” is referred to, often. If the company wants to come to solutions, need to back the responsibility for the family management to the centre of the Considerations.

So the situation is better, you need to change both women and men. Women give the rudder to be rarely out of his Hand, according to the Motto: “Before I explain it long, I’ll do it myself.” Men to take the all-too-willingly and sit back. Instead of actively waiting for orders – a proven work avoidance strategy, which is also the author of Emma’s Clit in her feminist Comic “if only You had questions,” criticized.

Straight couples with an egalitarian claim emphasize, is that both work in the same way, and that they share all Betlike the duties. But lying to women, and often even in the bag. Out of shame, and because can not be what must not be. Sociologists of the TU Darmstadt to speak, in a study of 2015 of “concealment techniques”, which is to be expected, the imbalance beautiful. That only “mopping tour of the bathroom” and “quickly” hanging up the Laundry, is attributed to their cleanliness fetish. And you can also much better, faster, more efficient than he is! The new rubber boots for the child she has on the road concerned. How did she know that the old ones were to small? The teacher applies such information to the parent. And it remembers.

Although there is no genetic precondition for the testing of Shoe sizes, or Arrange for doctor’s appointments, leave to men the Items of the family Manager rather your wife. However, the conclusion that the organization of the household know as a Rule to miss interpret, succumb to often wore both sides: A US study suggests that some women fear, but sometimes even hope, that, without it, everything collapses, because your self-rests of consciousness in large part to this monopoly. This need for Control is observed in mothers, which is why the phenomenon as the “Maternal Gatekeeping” is referred to.

on the Other hand, is often forgotten: The man is not of the trainee in the family, can accept no responsibility. The woman, not the household or family Head that has to tell you what to do. This attitude is unfortunately common, for example, if you must every time ask for his “assistance” – and he says that he is “helping in the household”.

more care work than men

How the current society, report of the social Ministry of Baden-W├╝rrtemberg is Daily found in 4.3 hours to, women between 25 and 44 years compared to men of the same age every day 4.3 hours more time for care activities. They do the Jobs that sees mostly nobody, and nobody pays. Thus, not only the appreciation for this performance, but also the understanding of resulting Overwork and exhaustion.

in Addition, The domestic more work gives many the feeling that they have left no time and energy more, a paid Job with full force. As a result, an unfair division of the family management, the deterioration in the professional and financial opportunities for women. On average they spend 2.3 hours less time in the office than he is. The consequence: she earns less, later and less pension. In the worst case, slipping them into financial for Offside. Although the percentage of working women, is since the nineties, have continued to increase, the amount of paid work hours remained almost the same. As more and more women are working only part-time. In comparison with other EU countries, Germany is particularly striking.

equality arises in everyday life, such as the feminist Caitlin Moran has pointed out that interaction and empathy. As long as you are not working in partnership, equality is only a word sleeve. The family management is shared equally. In order for this to work, must grab. And a release.