“I feel powerless in the face of violent men,”
“Friday is international women’s day, and I think of all the time we women put on to prevent becoming a victim of sexual abuse. What had I done with all the time and thinking activity instead, for example, to think about whether my shoes will become an obstacle if I have to run. “
“I’m on the way home from a nightclub, which is located five blocks away from where I live. The clock has begun ticking on into the wee hours and I’ve partied and danced for hours. Just tonight, I have high heels on me. I have almost never heels. The reason is usually that I feel in me for long. And if something happens, I need to be able to run. A van in mind when preparing for the evening. If something happens, I need to be able to rush. “
“But tonight, I have neglected this learned självförsvarstänk and taken me something that will later become an obstacle when I had to run. “
“I’m strolling down the street towards my home. It must be one of sommarnattens get the dark hours, the sky is deep blue and the street is quiet and deserted. No one is out except me. Residential buildings windows are also dark, only the reflections from the moonlight and street lamps are visible, no lights. I begin to approach my house then I see a man stand leaning against the wall of the house a little longer.”
“body language reveals that he is full. Not full – dangerous-violent-unpredictable, more full – dräggig-will-sleep-soon-need-maybe-empty-help-to-finding-home?”
“As a young girl brought up in the Swedish alkoholkultur so it is obvious that you have extensive knowledge about human behavioral patterns linked to the spirits. I assess the situation as harmless, and goes untouched on. I’m crossing the full the man who stands leaning with his arms and forehead against the wall of the house. Maybe he would feel better if he just threw up a little bit?”
“I continue down the street when I hear that the man has begun to walk he also. Footsteps is expected släpiga and slow. I look back and then continues forward. Time a bit to down on the street then I hear the man’s footsteps completely changing the rhythm. I cast a new glance over his shoulder to see that the man now goes completely straight. Seemingly completely sober, and now single-minded.”
“I am moved by a sudden icy terror. In one breath I have had time to conclude that the man must have played full that I would act just like I did – fearless. Changed not street. Did not take up the phone and called someone, I didn’t even put the key between the knuckles, as one would otherwise do.”
“He has deceived me, and I went at it. I don’t want to show my sudden fear. Partly to not panic and partly because I think it gives the man additional psychological advantage, if he sees that I am afraid and weak. I see two ways out, continue straight ahead on the open street which is actually closer to home, but with the man who is obviously stalking me now. Or so swings I of at a less darker path, where I may be able to find a hiding place and so to shake off my pursuers. I choose the latter. “
“When I come around the corner so kutar I. The panic keeps me in a firm grip, but I run everything I can. My heels have been turned to deadly heights under my feet, but I will continue to run. At one point, I pedal wrong and lose a shoe. My momentum halted somewhat in the movement of that I lose the shoe and I can perceive that the man behind me also running. I continue with a shoe and a bare foot against the ground, around a corner covered by a large shrubbery. It must have been the reptilian brain, which ruled here for any reason, I choose to throw me straight into the bush. Where is the cigarette butts, the use of snus and debris. I hold my breath to not make a sound despite the fact that the chest throbs with the pulse and the neck from the blood taste of the effort of the sudden spurt. He saw my retreat down in the bush so I’m fucked. “
“a Few seconds later I see my potential perpetrators rush past and ahead. I see the back of his body becoming smaller and smaller while he jogs on in the night. On the lookout for me. “
“The most common is that men rape people they have a relationship, often in the home. MeToo put the spotlight on the invisible nuances that otherwise ends up in the shadow of the image of the överfallsvåldtäkten. In fact, there is a greater risk that a boyfriend, friend or male member of the family will carry out the abuse. Despite the fact that the risk of becoming the victim of an assault on the town is not really so large, it is remarkable how much we women prepare ourselves. What does that do to a person to prevent any attacks when she has to leave her home? Constantly respond to any violence? Clothing, route choice and how much we should drink. I have probably added my ten thousand hours of thought in to practically prepare for a possible assault. Yet, I feel powerless in the face of violent men.”
