You can see his life as a failure. You can also see it as beautiful. The one does not preclude the other.
It is this combination which may Cecilia hansson’s autobiographical novel ”Au pair” to shine. ”Au pair” is a book about cutting beauty in livsmisstagens shadow.
the Beginning is fierce: ”When I go to Erstagatan to be cheating, it is spring and I am 31 years of age. In the four years I have been trapped in a relationship, now blow me out.”
the hallmark of the book, all the schedule – we follow Cecilia through several different ages and between different locations. But the prototypical setting is Vienna, that is where she goes after high school. She works as an au pair (fail in its task in at least two families), studying German (it goes like that) and will be unfortunate in love with the teacher, Walter.
But despite, or perhaps thanks to all when, Cecilia and her friends in Vienna and fancy free. It is as if the future is open to them, they are in the midst of the adventure: ”We’re not going out in the world, we are the world”. Walter exclaims, delighted: ”You look like nordic goddesses!” ”We are the nordic goddesses!”, answer hybrisflickorna.
I can really feel every corner whiz through the book: a bird that throws itself straight out in the open air, in the excitement, the love, a world where everything is possible. ”In our world is the worst thing that can happen to E the ” one night stands, not calling back. Or to get hiv. We are terrified of hiv, even though we are so proper”.
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the girls, not broken. The young girls ‘ desire for freedom is much different from the male-coded frihetsprojektet. The guys went at least in my time into the wild, they packed down the guitar and went on a Jack Kerouac trip or pulled to Alaska or Katmandu. The talented girl Cecilia travel instead to one of Europe’s finest borgarstäder and take care of the children in the affluent kärnfamiljer. When she releases control, it is by to fall in love with an asshole who doesn’t want her.
Walter is not very nice to her, and he uses the right dubious pedagogy. ”You think I don’t like you”, he says to Cecilia, apropos of his critical attitude to her performance. ”But you are arguing only with those they like”. There is an undertone of masochism that puts its mark on her future life, will become restless and searching.
Hansson has previously published several volumes of poetry, and it shows in the flyhänta and light but at the same time thought-out the style. In the beginning, I have some difficulties with the chronology is convoluted and throws from so many schedule that I put unnecessary energy on to relate to me what happens when in the main character’s development. I find it hard to see how one leads to the other, which locks the various frigörelsestrategierna is operations out. But this skrivbeteende is right, however, typical of poets who write prose, because poetry is a floating moment, a kind of dreamtime.
reading, get used to me at the unconventional portrayal of the time, I just think that it is wonderful. It dissolved the narrative becomes kongenialt with a pervasive desire for freedom – all the grief and joy in life is in some ways at the same time, in the pattern that is etched into the psyche forever.
Towards the end rounded off the story in a kind of mature melancholy, in which Cecilia note: ”I am writing this from within myself. I am she who is never more shall lose your head.”
I don’t believe. Everything is posted to the main character will continue to lose your head and follow the stream in the poetic life of freedom.